#the block button is free!!! it's not mean to block you're just curating your own experience

[crescenthistory]

is this a safe space to vent our frustrations about other writers on this app? because you truly outdo all of them

no ❤️

[aquilacalvitium]

Important tips for Tumblr newbies (especially if you're coming from Tiktok)

There is no algorithm

Likes do fuck-all, only reblogs put stuff on people's dashes

"This post doesn't fit my blog's aesthetic" make a side blog. Either for your aesthetic or the reblogs idc which

Reblogging is what we do here, if you apologise for reblogging lots or warn that you're going to then people will understand that you have no idea how tumblr works

No-one can see your follower count

No-one cares what your follower count is

There are no famous influencers here

Maybe famous posts though

And gods help you if you make a famous post

The bots are real and they will find you

When reporting a bot, report them for spam and NOT sexual content

That in mind, make sure your profile picture is NOT a tumblr default

Everyone will immediately assume that you are a bot if your profile picture is a default and you will be reported

REBLOG. POSTS.

I MEAN IT.

Tumblr literally runs on reblogs

The block button is free and easy and an important tool in curating your own experience

You will find people you want to block, other people will block you. Get over it.

There is no such thing as a reason that is "too petty" to block someone

Don't like this person's blog? Block.

Think this person talks too much about one topic? Block.

This person's vibes are off and you don't like seeing them on your dash even though they've done nothing visibly wrong?

BLOCK.

If you want to keep following someone but they post something you don't like, filter the tags they use or ask them to use a tag you have filtered

"I like this but if I interact I will see more of it." I literally cannot stress enough how that is not how tumblr works.

A like on Tumblr does one thing: telling the OP that you like their post

It does not affect your dash or OP's reach

And I seriously cannot get this point across enough...

REBLOG.

POSTS.

You don't need to comment or anything, just reblog them.

[horrorshow]

Can you talk about why you think blocking and moving on is a bad thing? I thought it was a way to curate your space and avoid drama

idk maybe i'm too idealistic but fandom is a much more friendlier, welcoming, supportive, creative, engaging, active, diverse and interesting space when it's treated like a community where people are encouraged to participate and talk about their interests and where there's space for niche or more unpopular opinions without these people having to worry about being blocked and feel unwelcome by the majority of the fandom they are in. i can't stand how blocking everyone you disagree with has become the first thing to do.

you say its 'to curate your experience'. but blocking people does not only curate YOUR experience. you're also forcefully curating other users' experiences. and not for the better.

people say 'i will block you for literally anything' and then those same people wonder why engagement is down, why no one sends asks, why no one reblogs, why rarely anyone talks in the tags anymore and why this place feels so dead and boring and quiet. i wonder why!!!!

people treat real people as annoying ads they can dispose of at their whim. but that's not how a fandom or a site like tumblr works. (besides, if you really care about people curating their own experience you wouldn't block people. you can filter and blacklist and never see them again while still granting them the same freedom instead of actively making their experience worse.)

you say its to avoid drama. but seeing a post you dont agree with is not 'drama'. and blocking is not solving anything except for you personally. fandom was more fun when we remembered that every user is a real person you share a space with, and probably some mutuals as well, so you find a way to live with each other. starting with a restraining order seems a bit excessive and is not contributing to anything. it's not that hard to be respectful and tolerate others and acknowledge people have different opinions and interests and still co-exist in peace. its not that hard to be nice to people and try to find common ground with them and interact with the stuff you DO like. you do this in every aspect of your real life, so why not online?

i hear you say: 'but that requires WORK and i don't NEED to do any of that bc i can just block them'.

yeah, you can try to create your own bubble and only hang out with like minded people but you wont EVER fully achieve that (no matter how much you block, social media WILL keep feeding you posts you disagree with bc it makes them money). social media WILL pressure you into an 'us vs. them' mentality where you constantly feel like everything online is a threat or an argument you have to win and where being mean and unnuanced gives you the most notes and where you don't even see, let alone be able to treat, other users as people anymore bc you don't interact with them anymore other than to block or fight them. that's not how i want it to be online. it's not fun to me. and maybe i'm a pessimist but i think it will eventually be the death of online fandom and sites like tumblr. look at the state of twitter right now. DOES blocking give you a better experience in the long run? i doubt that it does. overall, i think it makes people even less tolerable and more vulnerable to hate and fear mongering, and social media an even more hostile place.

it's everything i hate about social media and everything i want to fight against and WILL fight against. i won't pretend my meager contribution will change anything, but i LIKE to just scroll past posts i don't vibe with and not see every argument online as a personal offense. it keeps me curious. most posts aren't that bad when you know the person behind it. i mean, you do you, i'm not gonna say what you should or shouldn't do bc that's up to you, but i recommend it: free yourself of the block button and bring back supportive user communities based on a shared love for the same thing and focus on what you have in common with people, just like you would do in real life. save the block button for the rotten apples who DO keep trying to pick fights and exclude others.

(which is, now that i think about it, probably the main difference: most people see the block button as a neutral way to prevent worse. but. that's only the case on an individual level. and treating everything online as an individual choice to which there are no further consequences, especially if they happen on a larger scale, is already a loss.)

[sapphire-weapon]

Hey Sirea! How's your Sunday going?

So, I know you're not really into discussing the whole Aeon community thing, but I'm curious about your take on it.

Do you think they've kinda turned into this entitled part of the fandom because of the OG timeline and Capcom pushing Aeon? (I haven't been mingling with the fandom for long, even though I've been a fan for ages, and maybe I should've stayed away from this drama, haha). Orrrr, do you think they've just misunderstood a lot of what happened in the OG events and cling to their own ideas about the characters? Personally, even when I was a teenager and leaning towards liking Aeon, I always thought, "Sure, they've had some intense moments and saved each other's skins, but are they really all that transparent with each other? Nope. Does Leon trust her unreservedly? Not really and he never will." And I thought that was the whole point of their relationship; it was doomed even before it started and it was just teasing and more of an frenemies situation. I never really believed they'd ride off into the sunset together; I thought their "romance" was more of a fan service thing, to be honest. But now I see not many folks share that view in the OG RE crowd and shippers are very intense.

And with the remakes, the changes to Aeons dynamics are significant, but I'm seeing the same attitude (a lot worse, actually), as if Aeon being canon is a given and they're destined to be together, and any other woman interacting with Leon is irrelevant and he has no chemistry with anyone else who isn't Ada, and the other ships are trash because they're not canon and only Aeon has that benefit in the franchise. Not sure where all that entitlement comes from. Was it always like this, or is it generational?

Anyway, feel free to ignore my ramblings if I'm being annoying, haha! Have a fantastic day/night!

hello friend

so, for clarification's sake, i'll answer stuff about fandom history. i just can't stand it when people come to me like "did you see what they're doing? did you hear what they're saying?" no, i didn't fucking see what they're doing, because i don't care what they're doing or saying, and neither should any of you. don't seek them out. leave them alone. don't look for reasons to make yourself mad. if they come to you, block them.

but in this case, like

vigorously rubs face

okay so like

this is actually a really difficult and complicated series of questions, because fandom was just... different back in the day. it didn't function the same way it does now. there was no passive engagement; there was no like button, there was no reblog/retweet option. if you wanted to engage with fandom back in the day, commenting on livejournal or participating on a forum were your only options. you had to TALK TO PEOPLE. yes, even people you disagreed with, yes even people who shipped other things.

and there was no algorithm; there was no curated feed. on livejournal, you joined a community dedicated to resident evil, and you played nice with the other people in it or they banned your ass and you got cut off from a huge portion of the fandom. sure, you might have your ship community on the side, but the general fandom communities always had more people and were often the best place to get news.

so you would have aeons and cleons and valenfields and everyone under the sun sharing this community together. so you literally COULDN'T be obnoxious about your ship, because chances are, that was against the rules.

that didn't mean that tribalism and ship wars and shit didn't happen. of course they happened. but it was just... different. the discourse was more nuanced. people would write essays back and forth at each other.

and it was fueled by the fact that there was a significant period of time in which RE canon could've just as easily gone the way of cleon as it did aeon. there was a push-and-pull there constantly. sure, aeon had the on-screen kiss in RE2, but SD Perry shipped cleon and people were under the impression that she knew what future canon held. but then RE4 happened and "she's like a part of me i can't let go" happened. but then degeneration happened and it was leon and claire, with no ada in sight. and then darkside chronicles happened and aeons were pissed that claire and leon were co-op partners, but then the aeon kiss was in there and cleons got mad about that.

it really could have gone either way.

basically, cleon existed as a hard check on aeon fandom for years and years, back in the day. they had the numbers and the standing in canon to do it, so they did it.

but then damnation happened. and when damnation happened, a huge portion of cleon fandom surrendered. there was no comeback for "canonically leon and ada most likely fucked."

and then when RE6 happened and leon's campaign was framed as the culmination of the aeon love story, whatever cleons that were still hanging onto hope then also laid down their arms. the war was over, and they'd lost.

and when aeon won, they were sore winners. they'd been in this fight for over a decade, and they wanted everyone to know that they came out the victors. especially since their victory was actually kind of precarious. yes, leon and ada likely fucked, and yes they had whatever the fuck was going on with RE6, but... leon and ada still weren't together. the ship was canon... but it also wasn't. and i think they knew just how easily it could be taken away from them again.

so, fast forward to modern day fandom, and i think what we're seeing is the result of an insecure aeon fandom clinging to their victory, which then got amplified in an echo chamber when fandom moved to social media, until they all basically became radicalized.

and there was no cleon fandom there to body check them back to reasonable levels anymore. not to say there were no more cleons; just that cleon fandom had lost their will to fight.

so the aeon fandom of today came into this frenzied WE'RE CANON WE'RE CANON EVERYONE ELSE FUCK OFF WE'RE CANON, not even knowing why the fandom was like that or where it was coming from, and they just parroted their elders, and now it's a cancer spreading through wider RE fandom.

because what didn't happen was: the fever never broke. there never came a point where aeons calmed the fuck down and took a step back and looked more objectively at the canon. and because they were so loud, no one else did, either.

so, to answer your questions:

Do you think they've kinda turned into this entitled part of the fandom because of the OG timeline and Capcom pushing Aeon?

yes.

Orrrr, do you think they've just misunderstood a lot of what happened in the OG events and cling to their own ideas about the characters?

also yes.

the OG timeline came to favor aeon. there's no disputing that. and because of that, people started to make assumptions that aeon was endgame, and they never let go of those assumptions. this has caused them to misinterpret the ending of RE6 and completely miss the fact that leon rejected ada in the end.

aeon fandom doesn't want to believe that aeon was a journey, not a destination.

so they don't.

and no one challenges them anymore. even though cleon fandom still has the numbers to do it, they don't. and even though eagleone has the canonical standing to do it, they won't.

and it's because fandom is just set up differently now. we don't talk to each other anymore. we're not forced to play nice with each other anymore. in fact, we're incentivized by social media to be cunts to each other, because that earns us clout within our own echo chambers.

and it sucks, dude. because you can't have a conversation about the story in good faith anymore without people wringing their hands and going "b-but aeon..."

even though it's abundantly clear that remake is different and aeon is different in it, people are still too afraid to challenge the status quo. so we're left going around in circles with the same fucking shit over and over again, and just

sigh.

that's why i say just ignore them. block them. because the discourse has basically cemented itself in place, and there's no reason to put yourself through the misery of dealing with it.

[mrprettywhenhecries]

rules.

1.  This is a discourse free blog. 

✔︎ I will not tolerate / interact with discourse.  If you send hate or try to start drama in my inbox, your ask will be deleted and you will be blocked.  I am liberal with the block button and believe in curating your own internet and fandom experience. ✔︎ This is a Billy Hargrove safe blog (obviously), but I have no issues with any of the other ST characters. ✔︎ While I prefer to ship canon/oc and have many notps, I have no issue with people who are pro-shippers, unless you're a dick.

2.  Icon Requests:

✔︎ Icon requests are always open. ✔︎ Just let me know which character(s) & if you want any specific colour/pattern/gradient(s) for the backgrounds.

3. Writing Requests:

✔︎ Status will be updated in my navigation post. ✔︎ I am not obligated to fill every request that I receive. ✔︎ I write what inspires me at the time, so I don’t necessarily answer requests in the order which I receive them. ✔︎ If I’m not vibing a request or if it makes me uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean it’s bad, just that I might not be up for writing it. ✔︎ I prefer sentence starters or broad scenarios when receiving a request rather than a super specific scenario. ✔︎ When requesting, please don’t spam requests. I’m not your personal writing machine. ✔︎ I write fem!reader/gn!reader or x oc only.  I try to be as inclusive as possible, but my reader characters are not completely blank slates — they usually have some sort of loose back story/personality. ✔︎ Characters I will write for: Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington, Gator Tillman, Baron Lamram, & Benny Cross.

4. Things I won’t write:

✔︎ canon ships / mlm ✔︎ RPF / real person fic ✔︎ noncon– I will write dubcon, but I won’t write explicit noncon unless it’s consensual noncon ✔︎ heavy degradation / overly mean doms ✔︎ infidelity fic (it depends – I will not write Character cheating on Reader or vice versa.  Character cheating on someone else with Reader, or vice versa is OK!) ✔︎ nsfw content with minors ✔︎ incest/stepcest/psudeocest ✔︎ scat/vore/bloodplay (piss/omorashi is OK!) ✔︎ bimbofication/bimbo reader ✔︎ hybrids/creatures/omegaverse ✔︎ coming out fics - as a queer/trans person this is a stressful enough subject for me irl and I just am not interested in exploring it in fic ✔︎ song fics ✔︎ specific reader characters (for example, a reader character that looks a certain way, has a particular trait/power or is related to another character) ✔︎ if you’re unsure if there’s a topic I will or won’t write, feel free to ask!

5. Just be nice! I love chatting with new people and screaming about fictional characters. 💚✨

[fidenciocryptidcreechur]

Gonna make this my pinned post and or masterlist

Will update as i get to it

Help sites

esim link

Post of resources (USA and international)

abortion clinic fund donation link

transgender law donation link

I'm Fidencio, he/him 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ 20+

Just be polite, i don't really have a do-not-interact or DNI list. I just block folks if they're transphobic, racist or something. I guess that's my DNI list and rules: Don't hate people for arbitrary reasons and don't incite violence/hate.

This blog is basically for anything and everything. From sfw to nsfw. This blog itself isn't focused on anything in particular, however i can't say the same for most of the folks i reblog from so be sure to check that OP's do-not-interact list.

All i can say is curate your own online experience and if something you see isn't your vibe then block button is free plus there's a function to block tags and even content.

Asks are unlikely to be put on anonymous mode on this account and that's mostly because i am of the stance that if someone's going to come chat on this little stage then we're both going to be under the spotlight, that's only fair. I like knowing who I'm chatting to plus too many folks seem to act way too rude when they have on the mask of an anon

personal writing/fics master list <- Link

Current interests:

Twisted Wonderland

Top readers and monster readers

Cookie Run Kingdom

Homicipher

Interests I've always had:

Isopods, sea slugs, moths, jumping spiders, dinosaurs, Dunkleosteus, all theropods

Marine facts

Anything to do with nature or organic or biological sciences

Art (especially creature designs)

Monster fics

Yandere fics

Current Energy Level:

Tired

Fic recs/ good posts/ recommended and mental health posts ↓↓ below cut cause there's a lot

Free Media resource (watch stuff)

Excellent post about thinking before speaking/posting and how it can happen to anyone and everyone

Good punk advice. Good advice. Stuff to do.

The noble thief, employees should be allowed to steal. The rich drain life. Helping your fellows cause the rich would shoot you dead for profit

Dream walker yuri- immortal thing x Lady

Drinking virus concentrate, i can be trusted with infectious diseases

Extremely accurate interpretation of nativity scene (humble beginnings and art of Jose and Maria)

Wikipedia, monkey photos and how this means ai art isn't copyrightable cause art needs to be made by humans

Why Americans don't know what's going on (all info is curated and vetted and it's extremely difficult to get access, this is on purpose from higher ups. Further resources in notes and in this post)

Tracy Town usa place that's definitely not being experimented on where they found a weird retainer in posters mouth

The sea eats metal (titanic is decomposing and also wood does better in the ocean and steel is used cause it's stronger)

Enlightened one helping others budhisattva

Cute kinder egg positivity

Plague doctor appreciation post

Abuse is long lasting. An eye for an eye makes the world blind. Breaking the cycle post

Sex negativity detracts from ability to view art as art in porn and vilifies the fact that sex is natural like hunger or thirst

BLOOD IS IMITATION SEA WATER (sorta a myth style but very true)

Vocabulary added! New phrases besides herculean task!

Solxamber's super sweet twisted wonderland fic where everyone comforts reader very lovely very cute

Balto and togo vaccine sled run

INCREDIBLE absolutely AMAZING dungeon meshi/delicious in dungeon analysis

Holy fuck what a read "dreaming about an entirely different life and grieving it after awakened by a lamp"

Pool stranger "she tore me open but she taught me a lot about love" post (very sweet, kid gets saved and stranger learned about how even just existing can save a life. very sweet)

Ecofascism and the myth of overpopulation (informative)

Floyd leech eating the fuck out of a fortune cookie (ruggie is appalled) animation

Ancient Egyptian leatherworking and the leather fishnet/mesh underwear post (history and leatherworking)

Dinosaur cloaca post (informative and funny)

Pomefioredove's comfort fic for awkward reader

Sol's kalim x reader fic (so good so fucking good omg)↓↓

Brighter than the sun- Kalim al Asim by Solxamber

Really good Jamil viper x fem reader smut (yandere) by cataclyysmiic

Really cute and AMAZING sebek x gn reader fic cafe shop meeting bodyguard actor au fic by zgvlt

Post about positivity and affection from pets

Yandere jade leech android by merakiui (very good, warning for death but not to reader)

Big dudes being cute long post (good for reminders not to judge based on appearances)

Another vil Schoenheit fluff fic banger from Solxamber (vil is out of it from anesthesia)

Peak athletes body positivity (w/ photos) body diversity post

Positivity post about loving yourself as you age (gender inclusive)

Transmasc sock method

Health care stuff

^ I've used this and it's genuinely nice. It's gentle, it's not pushy, no guilt, it's uplifting, there's a cute bird, you can add friends, it has actually mental health exercises in it. It's free.

^ pdf to help you

^ full of tools to help when you aren't up to thinking or need to make a list but don't know where to start. Good for meal plans and recipes and to do lists. Really good if you have adhd and brain fog or just low energy and can't compute that to do list

[barbieswithbettyfinn]

Also you shouldn't have an 18+ blog if the characters are literally minors tf

Firstly, I have a pretty good idea who you are, and you're more than free to block me if you disagree with my existence so much you felt the need to come into MY inbox (on anon, might I add, like a coward), to start shit. Since you're the one with the problem and all, I mean... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The block button's right there, and it's free!

Ignoring your classy use of the r-slur in your last ask, the 18+ in my description is for me. Hi, I'm over 18, and this is (or was) an agere blog. There is nothing 18+ here other than swearing and my age. And if the latter alone disqualifies me from taking part in fandom then I'm going to assume you're a terminally online minor who needs to take a really long time-out from the Internet. Because if you're an adult sending shit like this, oof. All I can say is yikes, my man, what's your damage?

Also the characters aren't real lol. The "literal minors" do not exist. The actors are real people though. Adult people. Playing minors. Adult people playing seventeen-year-olds. Who we suspend our disbelief for. For the two hours we watch them we pretend they're 17yos doing high school things and not 20-30yos running around on a near-empty stage saying lines, singing songs, and dancing their asses off. Who take their blazers, wigs, mics, etc off at the end of the night and walk the streets of the city as anonymous as they can be til they have to put everything back on again.

Secondly, we are not playing this game tonight.

Mmhm, see, I know exactly where this is going. I know the definition you're thinking of and I'ma promise you, that's not what that means. You are not going to label me with the wrong definition and brand me as something I'm not. I'll put it in a bigger font so you don't miss it:

Proshipper is not synonymous with pedophile. You know what is synonymous with pedophile? MAPs!

Luckily for me, the older I get, the less I like people under the age of 18! In fact, the younger you are, the less I like you. Convenient, isn't it? Especially in this day and age when everyone is more exhausting than ever.

The prefix PRO means FOR (eg: pro-choice, pro-life, pro-censorship, pro-ship). It is NOT short for problematic.

Likewise, the prefix ANTI means AGAINST (eg: anti-abortion, anti-LGBT, anti-war, anti-ship).

Being a proshipper means

you don't go around sending anon hate to randos because of their tastes (or what you assume is their taste, and you know what they say about assuming!). That's harassment, kids, and that's illegal! Their opinions, my opinions, his opinions, her opinions have NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU so why are you so pressed? Don't yuck someone else's yum. Your squick might be their squee and vice-versa.

you curate your own experience. This person's annoying you by posting too much? Block them so you never have to see them again. That person's spamming the tags? Block them, you're free. That person made art/fic/has a headcanon that contradicts yours and it makes you feel some type of way? You got one guess what I'm gonna say next. Block. Them. If you can demand they block you, why don't you block them first? Since, again, you're the one with the problem and they're just minding their own business.

you don't have to okay EVERY single ship/dynamic you find if you just don't vibe with it because everyone has different tastes just like they like different food. I like durian, but I hate cilantro. I will not eat cilantro for a million dollars. If you try to trick/force me into eating cilantro at all ever, YTA. Some people only have wholesome fluffy ships, and as long as they're not acting like that makes them better than people who ship anything other than that, guess what! As long as they're not going around bothering people about their ships especially if they disagree, guess what!! As long as they're not offering their unsolicited opinions to people under the guise of "helping" them see the "error of their ways" or some bs like that, GUESS WHAT!! AS LONG AS THEY'RE NOT A DICK ABOUT FANDOM CONCEPTS, GUESS FUCKING WHAT!!! congratulations, you're proship! and you didn't even need a problematic pairing!

you ignore what you don't like and consume what you do like! Y'know, like regular people. And you don't bitch and moan after you intentionally upset yourself and make it everyone else's problem (like a baby). I cannot stress how much of an asshole you are if you do this. If you don't want to put in the effort to block, cuz that takes so much, you can always scroll away. If you hate DD:DNE, don't bitch about clicking on a fic that is PROPERLY TAGGED "DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT." That's on your dumb ass for not checking the tags first!! You opted in, and you can also opt OUT. Yes, even if your bff sent it to you cuz they suffered and now you have to. Jesus Christ.

you don't police what people are/are not allowed to like. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THEM. And it stands to reason if you can police their preferences, they can police yours, right? It's only fair. And if not, what makes you the arbiter of taste, hm? That'd be pretty boring if we all had the same exact likes and dislikes and no one was allowed to branch out and explore new things. When do you guys have fun?

you ship and let ship. The sandbox is big enough for everyone! Suz can play Hug and Snuggles Barbie and Ken over here, and Sam can play Battle Royale Death Barbie and Ken over there. And if I sound condescending that's kind of the point!! If you can't play nice, just don't play together! What a concept!

Alright, I'm done. I hope you learned something. I hope the 40-odd people who follow me learned something. Proship is nothing more than a stance on fiction, and fiction is not real. Fiction by itself cannot hurt anyone. It is not the fault of the creator if people use their creation to hurt others. You know who is at fault? The real person who used the creation with the intention to hurt others. Real people are real. Real people can hurt and be hurt. Fictional characters are NOT real and exist only as concepts.

Get your head out of your ass, the hole's as big as it's gonna get. Grow up. Drink some fucking water. And learn some goddamn respect. Tf? Smdh

[a-dragons-journal]

hi idk if youre the one to ask for this but like: how do you deal when people call you gatekeepy and keeping saying that you're wrong and they're right when you try and and correct information (kin being voluntary)? i cant deal with stress very well but it's also very hard for me to not try and correct any wrong information. do you habe any tips/recommendations? -☆🌕

My advice comes in two parts here, I think, so it’s gonna be a long post and is thus gonna mostly go under a cut.

Part one: Conflict Management

Conflict management skills are a blessing, if you haven’t taken a conflict management course then go find one and take it. It may be that you’re coming off as aggressive without meaning to, or are doing something else that’s making the conversation shut down - that’s easy to do over the Internet, especially on a hot-button topic like this. The crash course version of the conflict management skills I learned from one (1) lecture series that have saved my tail many, many times, below the cut:

Never assume malice where ignorance will suffice, which is one I try to just live by

Be Stubbornly Kind, or at least Stubbornly Polite, if you want the discussion/debate to continue

Use "I" statements, not "you" statements (ie "I feel like there's a misunderstanding here" is going to get people a lot less defensive than "you're misunderstanding me" despite fundamentally saying the same thing)

Defining terms at the start of a conversation is key to make sure everyone's talking about the same thing and miscommunications aren't happening. (Or when they come up, or when you realize you may be meaning different things with the same word)

Sympathetic, appeasing, and even apologetic language can be unbelievably useful in deflating anger before it has a chance to ruin a discussion. Phrases like “I think I wasn’t clear enough about that, sorry!”, “in my opinion, and you’re free to disagree with me, [subjective opinion]”, “in my experience,” “Am I making sense?”, and “I definitely appreciate the concern for [x]!” The only downside to this is that it can come off as passive-aggressive or condescending if overdone. All things in moderation and all that. (A very light, careful amount of humor may also help defuse anger.)

Pick out anything you agree with and point out that you agree with them on it. Literally anything. The smallest shred of a statement that you share common ground on. Anything you agree with them on, state clearly that you agree with it. This both shows that you’re not arguing for the sake of arguing (and thus makes them less defensive) and keeps you both from not continuing to argue about a thing that you actually agree on, so you can focus on the things you disagree on.

Ask clarifying questions. If you’re confused as to why a person would make an argument, don’t be afraid to ask “Do you mind if I ask you to clarify what you mean by that?” or something similar.

Rephrase their points back to them if you’re starting to get lost. This basically just ensures that you’re not misunderstanding them - and it tells them that you are listening and paying attention to what they’re saying. The phrase “If I’m understanding you correctly, and please correct me if I’m not, [rephrase]” is an underrated tool.

All of these will help aid communication by a) making sure that you’re not misunderstanding each other and b) keeping tensions lower and preventing everyone involved from getting angry/frustrated/defensive.

Part Two: When Conflict Management Fails

The reality is, after a certain point, all you can do is present information and let people do with it what they will. You can make logical arguments against logical arguments, but if someone is just flat-out disagreeing with you about the definition of a word and won’t budge on that, there’s sometimes not a whole lot you can do to change their mind. You can present your arguments and evidence as to why it’s factually wrong, why it’s harmful to keep perpetuating that, and why “this word has a definition” is not gatekeeping, but there comes a point where the argument becomes a circle with no end in sight. At that point you just kind of have to step away before it starts doing more harm than good.

You have to find your boundaries for how much argument you’re willing/able to deal with, and draw a line in the sand - not for others, but for yourself, to tell yourself when to step away - in advance, so you don’t have to make that decision in the moment.

Me personally, my line in the sand is pretty far out, because debate and intellectual discourse generally do more to stimulate me than to stress me out. That’s why I can run the antikin-and-misinformation-addressing sideblog I have in a healthy way - and it’s why I don’t recommend most people try to do that, because I’m the odd one out on that. But I made an agreement with myself when I started that blog that the day it actually started to cause me stress would be the day I put it down and never went back. The line in the sand exists, it just isn’t publicly visible because if I even get close to crossing it, I step away before I can do or say something I’ll regret.

And I’ll let you in on an open secret - as someone who runs a blog specifically to interact with those kinds of posts, the point is rarely actually to convince them to change their mind. People hit a point where they’re so adamant about their point of view that they refuse to even listen to any arguments to the contrary. The point is usually to make your viewpoint visible to the third party onlookers who haven’t made up their minds that strongly yet.

(And in an effort to try to avoid becoming that myself, and to facilitate communication, one of the other reasons I have those conversations is less to convince the other side and more to understand them - if they genuinely have an argument I can’t dismantle, I want to know what it is so I can look it over and see if it warrants changing my opinion on a subject.)

If you can’t handle the arguments, and you can’t make yourself let it lie, the answer may be that you need to leave that social space entirely or block those individuals - the block button exists for a reason. Which may sound harsh, but blocking really isn’t as big a deal as people make it out to be these days - you curate your own experience, and that’s a key part of that. Your mental health is the most important thing.

That was probably a longer answer than you were bargaining for, but I hope it helps at least somewhat.

[zirkkun]

you don't have to post this if you don't want, i just wanted to let you know I support you. maybe I'm just not in the right headspace to understand, but i truly don't get the mentality that you not wanting to create 18+ content for an au you love, even one that's specifically 18+, is somehow censuring. you are the owner of your blog and you create for you and how you're comfortable doing it? just because you personally aren't publicly making nsfw content doesn't mean other people can't/you don't like them. the only thing I sorta understand is the name thing and how, out of context, it could seem you weren't happy with the original, but even then that's a valid perspective. not everybody has to like an AU, and if someone wants to do their own version there is literally no excuse for sending them hate. this is a fandom of AUs and derivative content, to get mad at someone else for following suit is hypocritical. you aren't in the wrong here, and the people spreading misinformation about you with the intention to hurt (even if they feel thReAtEnED by your PERSONAL AU INTERPRETATION THAT RHEY ARE FREE TO CURATE OUT OF THEIR FEED SHOULD THEY NOT LIKE IT ...) are absolutely being horrendous. I'm here for you if you wanna talk, you can DM on discord or here. I hope you're okay.

I mean, in a way I can understand taking it as censoring, especially after talking to a few people about it directly, since it was a bit of a combination between both the interpretation of the name misunderstanding as well as ULR not being 18+ leading to the conclusion that it was censoring Underlust. But after I explained it, the couple of people who approached me about that specific issue understood pretty quickly, too.

And, in all honesty, if I don't really like something, I wouldn't go through the effort of trying to make anything based off of it. The closest example that I can think of where I did something akin to that is when I once tried like, writing an AU for Fire Emblem Fates, because I love the concept of the games, but thought the execution couldn't have been worse. (I've done insane amounts of research on how it truly was so bad, and honestly, the dev team was a complete mess, so I don't really blame them for how it turned out despite them being the ones that made it lol. They barely could come to a midway point for it, so the fact they released it was a miracle.) Sure, there's points of Underlust I don't like, but as I've said before I could say that about everything I like. Except maybe Promare /j (but it is a good movie)

It's also probably really weird, but like, even with things I know I don't like, I'm willing to read or look into sometimes. Like, I don't like Dreamtale at all, but I've gotten myself fairly invested in More than one fic about it and do like some people's works based on it. I'm between unable to handle and yet can tolerate yandere fics nowadays thanks to Alch's fics and them just being a generally wonderful human being, but like, before that they just sent me into a panic attack lol. Ragnartale is also a weird one I am somehow invested in, since it's like, on the surface, it looks like something I wouldn't enjoy, esp since. None of the ships showcased I'm really into at all. But I'm very invested in it ;w;.

Anyway, my point with this part lol is like, I love seeing different interpretations of the same thing, and it's absolutely wild to me walking into this fandom from every other fandom I've been in where like, and AU is just the same characters in a different scenario, while here an AU is literally a whole separate world based off of either Undertale itself or a different AU entirely and the cast is really varied and even if characters are of the same origin from one AU to another, they're so distinctly different that some of them are unlinkable to the character they originate from. And y'all made a multiverse out of it!! With consistent lore between said multiverse!! Wh?? Like I said I've been on the internet a long time but this is genuinely the only instance I've seen this happen, and while I've been told it used to be worse, y'all are super respectful about stuff here too (and like, notably on YouTube with AMVs and MEPs, people actually credit where they got the fanart from in the description?? It's not all of them, and some may be without permission, but this is still the ONLY fandom I've seen do that and that's one hell of a leg up on everyone else.) It's like weirdly, to me, like... an ideal way art should be? Like, a world where anyone can make whatever they want, and people work with each other and from different things, taking inspiration from each other with credit and care and love and not slamming people in the face with a big copyright button for so much as thinking about making something off of their content (coughnintendocough). Obviously Toby's a chill guy too, for not only allowing this to all happen, but based on that message he left in i think the 5th anniversary vinyls, adores it just as much.

So yeah, definitely being slapped in the face when I step in with my idea after all of that openness before me definitely kinda hurt LMAO. It does feel nice to finally like. Actually talk about it instead of holding it in though. Even if it's actually almost two months later now (cause this happened on like December 5th and i was like already having an awful week with a real bad birthday so that was fun avdbwvsn)

I don't know that the original intent was to spread misinformation, because from what it seemed like, they merely read one post, blocked me, and then told everyone about the information they got from said post, but from there it became misinformation, because that one post is probably the oldest post about ULR and doesn't properly summarize anything about it at all it just has character faces and rules for the ask box lol. And frankly, before I updated it, it was out-of-date and inaccurate as well, cause i never thought it would be necessary to change. But that info that i have is also from like one or two posts my friend snagged off of twitter (cause, well, they blocked me lol), so I'm not really 100% certain.

But even so, thank you for the support man, I think I'm good for now, but I really appreciate your offer and checking in on me like this, it really does mean a lot💕💕

[weewooooweew]

no one was "crawling all over you". the block button is there so that people can curate their space on the internet to their liking. many people block freely, including Ry, just because you didn't "post anything bad" or do anything that you yourself deem as "block worthy" doesn't mean you're entitled to an answer for why he, (or anyone else) might've blocked you.

If anything, i'd say that you're the one being rude in this situation, you kept pressing for answers and reasons, after reasons were already given. No one was being rude to you until you started being rude first.

If you really don't understand how you were in the wrong here, i'd advise taking a step back and reevaluating why you believe you're entitled to another person's personal reasoning.

now, please take all the above in a more formal, respectful tone, i was genuinely attempting to be polite. however, this next bit feel free to interpret with all the disdain you want <3

leave my fucking friends alone and mind your own fucking business okay? fuck off bitch

expose them using this ask

So, the three people that I will be talking about in this post are: 1. loseractivities 2. loseractivitie's best friend aka sandyhorse333 and 3. redwolfstabs. It's more so that loseractivities has a problem with me. And obviously a problem with communicating. He must have gone to my page and looked at the stuff that I either liked, posted, or reposted. So, he blocked me because he didn't agree with some stuff? I don't even post anything bad or controversial. I guess he's just picky. I was a fan of him and his work. I think it's rude just to block someone and leave them confused. Especially if they didn't do anything to you. You should just talk to them. If something offends you then you could just ask them to take whatever it was down or to unlike it. So, I asked sandyhorse333 why he blocked me. Sandyhorse333 defended loseractivities. Which I think that's kind of rude. The situation with redwolfstabs doesn't have anything to do with the two other people. I was in a Scream 1996 movie discord server with people and that included him. Someone in the server said that they like Taylor Swift. I said that I didn't because she's done some really messed up stuff. None of the people seemed to care. They just ignored all the bad stuff she has done and just excused it. If someone that I loved did bad things I wouldn't just ignore it. That's wrong. So, the people in the server (Including redwolfstabs) defended the other person even though it was messed up. So redwolfstabs kicked me. When they really should have kicked the other person or kicked us both out. Because that's just gross defending someone who has done something messed up. I was calling it out. Yet redwolfstabs decided to kick me. This was in December 2023. I've been holding it in as to not cause anything more. But I'm tired of it. The stuff with loseractivities and sandyhorse333 just happened a little bit ago. I will post pictures for evidence for the sandyhorse333 and loseractivities stuff. I cannot access the discord server so I don't have any evidence that I can screenshot but I'm sure you can find the server and read the messages if you ask redwolfstabs or whoever owns the server. I'm not sure even if the server is still up or not.